Bad Taste And Poor judgment At Christmastime

I just love this time of year. Thanksgiving and its over abundance of food and family has given way to the main event . . . it's Christmastime baby! At no other time are our good sense and coping skills more pummeled with so much, by so many than during these next few chaotic weeks . . . What fun! Why is it that only during the Christmas season are we invited to buy the incredible "Chi, Chi, Chi, Chia" Pet? The makers of this holiday gift staple would have you believe that Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without a lovable Chia Pet under the tree. Have you ever known anyone who has received or given this sod-covered brick. I don't? Surprisingly Chialand is now populated with a Scooby Chia, Garfield Chia, and the Tweedy Chia, in addition to the Original and a menagerie of wild and domesticated Chias. And, when it comes to gifts available only at Walgreen, CVS or Big Lots, let's not forget the ever-popular "Clap On, Clap Off, Clap On, The Clapper". I have got to get one of those. Television commercials from Time Life Music and K-tel are running latenights on little-watched, yet affordable, UHF and cable stations hawking their latest compilations of holiday classics. What music collection would be complete without "The Chipmunks Christmas Song", "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer", the canine version of "Jingle Bells", and "White Christmas" by Grand Funk Tabernacle Choir? Classic commercials from Christmas past make their way back to the airways during this time of year much like the ghost who visited Ebenezer Scrooge. I wonder . . . when will Folger's Coffee retire the holiday homecoming commercial featuring Peter greeted by his young sister as he sneaks home from college on Christmas morning? That little girl must be in her mid-twenties by now, but the sappy spot still makes us smile and buy coffee just like it did in the 1980s. Throughout December we'll be entertained in theaters by such soon-to-be holiday classics as a live action "Fat Albert" and "Blade Trinity", the third installment in the comic-based series about a kick-butt, Black vampire slayer. If I'm lucky there will be a holiday dance sequence in the film to the tune "Deck the halls with boughs of garlic". TBS or Turner Movie Classics will no doubt run my favorites, "Christmas Story", "A Muppet Christmas Carol", and "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation", in tandem with that 1964 groaner, "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians". After all, it is tradition . . . just like the bizarre gifts, outrageous music and dated commercials that make this holiday season unlike any other time of the year . . . Oh thank Heaven for poor taste and bad judgment at Christmastime.